Hello 👋
Monday again. Gotta tell you what happened last week because I still can't believe a simple incident can live rent free in our minds for so long.
So I'm at the gym, headphones in, music up, deep in my third set. I was pushing to failure, feeling strong, proud of my target weight that day. I dropped the dumbbells the way I always do. But this time, out of nowhere this guy stands in front of my face, clearly annoyed. I took one of my headphones out. He goes, "Can you be quieter when you drop the weights?"
I was like "My bad, Sir. I'll be careful the next time." Then I started by lowering my music volume, and for my next sets I lowered my weights down like they were made of glass. I was done with my gym session for the day.
Except it wasn't. Not even close.
Walking home, that guy's face just flashed back. In my mind I'm like "Did he say that to everyone or did he just pick me?"
I got home, showered, sat down for dinner, and there he crosses my thought again. "Who does this guy even think he is?"
By the time I'm winding up my night, I noticed myself preparing full comebacks for a conversation that is probably never going to happen with this guy again, on the lines of "This is a gym, not a library bro!"
And then it hit me. How did that 30 seconds of a gym incident translate into a 4 hour lease in my head. Rent free. He's not thinking about me. He forgot I even existed after he made his point. But here I am, creating an entire script dedicated to an episode that will never happen again.
You know I hate when the small stuff sticks around longer than it should. Anyway, here's the thing that actually pulled me out, and I'm giving it to you because I know you do this too.
It's stupidly simple. It's called 10-10-10. When something's got its hook in you, you ask: is this going to matter in 10 minutes? In 10 months? In 10 years?
Gym bro:
10 minutes, okay yeah still a little annoyed.
10 months, I won't even remember his face.
10 years, are you kidding me?
The second I actually ran it, the intensity of that incident just deflated. It's like the question forces your brain to zoom out and suddenly you see how small the thing is compared to how big you were making it by narrating and re-narrating it in your head.
Because that's the trap right? In the moment your brain files it as this huge deal. But when you frame it in that 10-10-10 way, it flips instantly.
Funny part, a friend called me on that walk home and for the whole hour we talked I forgot that guy and the incident completely. So maybe half the cure is just not sitting alone marinating in it. But you and I both know we'll do that anyway, cos this has happened before.
This week's nudge
Grab whatever's been renting space in your head lately. You know that specific one.
Run it through 10-10-10. Will this matter in 10 minutes? 10 months? 10 years?
Watch how fast most things shrink when you make them stand next to a 10 year mark.
That's it. Takes twenty seconds.
P.S: This might not work on the big stuff, and it's not supposed to. But the gym guys of life? Try it out.
Talk soon,
Narman