Hi there 👋
Monday it is. Let's get hold of this week in front of us.
Last week I had a lot going on, relatively a busier week of this season I'd say. Work was packed, and things outside of work kept me occupied too. Family stuff, meeting friends, running around finishing errands, some of which ran pretty late into the night.
As a result I had some nights where I ran short of my regular sleep. Actually a couple of nights, back to back.
And it's almost always the next day after a bad night that my entire day drags.
Mornings start choppy. Work meetings get clunky. I resist getting a workout in. My food choices lean unhealthy. And oftentimes I get easily irritated with a family member over something petty.
Like one evening last week. Someone at home reminded me to pay a bill that was already on my radar, and I just snapped and said something unpleasant. The second it left my mouth, I regretted it cos I instantly knew I could have replied kindly, or even let it go in that moment.
But hey, why are we almost never, NEVER, able to do this in that specific moment? It's a question I've only wrestled with recently, but this behavior has been happening for decades.
There's some interesting science behind this pattern.
Think of it like this. There's a sensible part of your brain that says "hey, it's not that deep," and there's our bestie brain, quick to react and big on feelings. Sleep keeps those two talking. Lose a night and the sensible one goes quiet while our bestie brain gets over 60% louder.
Just a tired brain doing tired brain things.
So the irritation was already loaded before that person even said a single word.
But that's not how we read it. We frame the whole problem around them. The narrative shifts to who they are and how they have been with us that day, and over the past few weeks, months, lifetime!
Very rarely do we step back and ask what caused it in the first place. That step back lets awareness walk in, and with awareness we spot the actual problem instead of solving it at the surface.
This week's task
Okay, real talk. Think back to the last time you snapped at someone you love.
Before replaying what they said, rewind further and ask yourself:
How'd you sleep?
What kind of day was it?
What were you already carrying?
Name it. Just once.
And if it was never really about them, tell them. "Sorry, that was my bad night, not you" goes a long way.
A tired human is not a bad human 🙂
Before you go, one small ask. Forward this to one friend who's been running on empty sleep lately 💌
With Love & Care,
Narman