Hello there 👋
It’s Monday, and I’m looking for a spot in your inbox. If I ended up in Promotions or Spam, pls drag me over to your main inbox. I promise to pay rent 😄 It helps more than you think 💛
Okay so, you know those days when your past, present, and future all decide to show up at once? You’ve got ten things on your list, and you know very well only one or two are getting done properly. Especially on a workday.
I had one of those last week. I needed a new piece of furniture for my place, so after browsing for a while I headed to the store. I’m walking up, still on my phone (Yes, I know), I reach for the door, and this guy and I kind of get in each other’s way. And he goes, “Hey, watch where you’re going.”
And honestly? Fair. I was on my phone. So I said sorry and went on with my day.
Except my bestie brain did not go on with its day. That tone followed me around the store, and then it followed me home. By the time I sat down with my laptop to get some work done, I was running a full courtroom in my head. Why was he so rude? He could’ve just said “excuse me!” And then, out of nowhere, my mind pulls up a completely different time when someone treated me badly. Totally unrelated! So now I’m arguing with two people, and neither of them is even in the room.
And the work I really needed to get done that night? Didn’t happen!
So of course I went looking for what was going on up there. Turns out when you’re upset, your brain goes digging for other moments that felt the same way. Psychologists call it mood congruent memory, and it’s basically how a stranger at a furniture store ends up teaming up with someone from a whole other chapter of your life.
The good news is that UCLA researchers found something really simple helps: putting the feeling into words turns down the brain’s alarm center. When you name it, it loses some of its steam.
Found this on my recent trip. Timing?
Here’s the thing I keep relearning though.
Letting go isn’t a one time thing. That thought is going to come knocking again, and again, and that’s okay. Letting go is a practice, just like any other skill. Every time it comes back in, you just walk it back outside the door.
This week’s nudge
The next time something small starts living in your head rent free, say these two lines to yourself:
“That’s the replay.”
“[Your name], come back to the Here & Now.”
Then look at whatever’s actually in front of you, whether it’s the laptop, your coffee, or the person talking to you. And do it every single time it knocks. No limit.
So, are you trying this week’s two lines? Hit reply with a Yes or a No.
Talk to you next Monday.
With Love & Care,
Narman